How to Turn Self-Sabotage Into Self-Love

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We’re all capable of self-sabotage.

In a college race I remember like it was yesterday, I was about an inch in front of the girl next to me as we both started on the final lap. I was winning. And as I realized I was winning, I felt a flash of squirminess, of self-doubt, of unworthiness, of fear.

And so I slowed down just a teeny tiny bit. And touched the wall in second place.

Phew! That was close.

I almost won. I’m not worthy of winning. I’m not good enough to win. I’m not one of the “winners.”

These were the stories I told myself. These were the tales I believed about myself.

I still get a pit in my stomach as I replay this race.

I trained hard. I trained well. I trained with the fast people. But when race day came, I held myself back.

I wasn’t ready to accept my own greatness. I didn’t believe I was worthy of success.

I thought I was just one of those athletes who trained better than she raced. It’s so easy to write off our lack of self-love with rationalizations. We don’t want to rock the boat. We just love helping other people. We don’t like the spotlight.

I call bullshit, gently.

It wasn’t that I just happened to train better than I raced. It’s that I didn’t believe I was worthy of standing atop the podium.

It’s not that we don’t want to rock the boat. It’s that we’re afraid that people will judge us, or that they’ll see that we’re not as great as they thought we were. (We are.) It’s not that we just love helping people. It’s that we love helping other people and we find it so much easier than taking care of ourselves because who are we to put ourselves first? (We are wonderful unique human beings who need love, attention and support too.) It’s not that we don’t like the spotlight. It’s that we don’t believe we’re good enough to have all of that attention on us. We worry that we might screw up. And if we screw up, that would just prove we’re not worthy. (We are worthy.)

It all comes down to love—to believing, to KNOWING that we are enough exactly as we are. We don’t have to do anything or prove anything to become worthy. We already are.

The self-worth work is challenging. It’s open. It’s crazy vulnerable. It’s real. It’s raw. And it’s the only way to get to self-love.

I believe in me now. I believe that I am enough. I know that I am worthy of greatness. I know I am worthy of standing atop the podium. I believe in you too. I know you are enough. I know you are worthy of greatness. And I know you too are worthy of standing atop the podium.

Take my hand. I’ll help you through the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. I’ll help you change your relationship with your inner critic (that voice that tells you that you’re not good enough). I’ll help you see the TRUTH—that you are whole, that you are loved, that you are enough and that you are worthy. Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.

How to Cultivate Resilience, Greatness and Other Good Stuff

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Self love is my jam. Self love means being compassionate towards yourself. Self love means believing that you are enough. Self love means believing that you are worthy.

When described in words, self love sounds easy.

But it's not. It's something I struggled with for a long time. 

I've always been different. And because I wasn't like everyone else, I told myself that I wasn't worthy of standing out. Because I didn't fit in a neat little box, I told myself that I wasn't worthy of standing on top of the podium. And because I felt like I didn't belong, I told myself that I should hang back in the shadows.

Can you relate?

With the help of mentors and coaches and teachers (and sports), I found myself. I fell in love with myself.

But it wasn't until I worked with a life coach that I truly let go of the belief that I wasn't worthy.

I'm on the other side of this journey and I want to help you now. Because self love is awesome.

Self love isn't narcissism. Self love is acceptance.

Self love doesn't mean having a big ego. Self love means having compassion for yourself and your body.

Self love doesn't mean thinking that you are greater than you are. Self love means recognizing that you are great. Self love means recognizing that there's no one else like you. Self love means recognizing that you are enough just by BEING you. 

When we love ourselves and we truly believe that we are worthy, we can accept love and compliments from others. When we believe that we are enough, we can finally accept our own greatness.

When we treat ourselves with patience and compassion, we can truly see ourselves. AND we can truly see others.

When we love ourselves we can accept failure. When we love ourselves we can accept success.

When we believe that we are worthy, we can let go of fear and perfection and embrace love and curiosity.

And, as Dan Harris writes in 10% Happier, "If you can create an inner environment where your mistakes are forgiven and flaws are candidly confronted, your resilience expands exponentially." 

What has your self love journey looked like so far? What has self love made possible for you?

I am currently welcoming new clients into my one-to-one coaching practice. If you're feeling called to change your relationship with yourself, contact me to schedule a free discovery session.

Turning Your Biggest Critic Into Your Biggest Cheerleader

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I was five years old and starting first grade at a new school. Our class was divided into two groups: The Panda Bears and The Unicorns. Perhaps the teachers thought the students were too young to discern the difference between the groups.

Not this Panda Bear.

It was perfectly clear to me that unicorns were majestic, sparkly, and smart while panda bears were cute, roly-poly and, alas, not the brightest crayons in the box. I certainly preferred (and still prefer) charismatic mega fauna to mythical creatures, but that wasn’t enough to convince me that being a panda bear was a good thing. The message was clear to me: I didn’t belong. And I wasn’t worthy of belonging.

The goal during that school year seems to have been for all the Panda Bears to read aloud in front of the class. (The Unicorns could already read aloud, presumably, coz they were all sparkly and shit.)

I was a shy kid. Reading aloud in front of the class was not my thing. And I couldn’t read.

As the year went on, though, I learned to read. And the day finally came for me to read “A Dog on a Log” in front of the class. I was the last kid…the last Panda Bear. And when I finished reading what was likely not the most thrilling story about a dog on a log, the entire class cheered.

I. Was. Mortified. (And it still registers today as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.)

I was different. I wasn’t worthy. I didn’t belong.

This is one of my earliest memories of my gremlin—the inner critic that tells us we’re not good enough. I held onto these messages throughout my childhood, adolescence and into adulthood. I gradually came to own my uniqueness, but I still heard the gremlin’s voice reminding me I was different. That I didn’t belong. That I wasn’t worthy. I carried these messages with me until coaching school in 2014, when my peer coach helped me give my gremlin a new job.

We all have gremlins. Sometimes they are quiet—usually when we’re in our comfort zones. But they tend to get ridiculously loud when we’re about to do something really awesome.

These gremlins are part of us. We unconsciously create them to protect ourselves from getting hurt—by insults from others, by failure or by embarrassment. Gremlins hate it when we stretch outside our comfort zones. They do everything in their power to keep us cozily wrapped in our barbed wire blankets. They tell us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, or not attractive enough. Basically, they tell us we’re not worthy.

Gremlins are very good at “protecting” us from harm, while, in truth, they’re actually “saving” us from our own greatness. Because our gremlins are part of us, we can’t crush them or make them disappear. We can change our relationship to them, however. We can give them a new job.

Imagine that mean, nagging voice you often hear when you’re about to take a risk or try something new. Imagine what it would feel like if you could transform that voice into something loving and supportive. Imagine what it would feel like if you could live with a cheerleader in your head instead of an enemy.

We can do that—you and me. We can turn the love on.

Want to find out how? Apply for a free discovery call here.

From Good to Great

I’ve raced four times this season. Each race has been like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich—good and nourishing, but not spectacular and game-changing. In training, I am strong and getting stronger with each session, but so far I haven’t put it all together on race day.

I recently shared these thoughts with my coach and his response was brilliant:

“The hardest thing to accept is that when you want to be great, you need to be just good in the build up. You have the choice of always being good plus a bit extra, or being good most of the time and great when it matters.”       -Kyle Burnell

Yessssss. Of course I want every race to be spectacular. I want every training session to be a game-changer. I want each workout to be THE workout that makes me faster. Let’s be honest, I want to high-five unicorns on a daily basis. (Or part of me thinks I want to. But would it be magical if it happened every day?)

When we want to be great, when we want to high-five a unicorn, we have to do the work. And the work isn’t all that exciting.

When you write a book, you’ll write some jaw-droppingly gorgeous sentences and you’ll write some sentences that are just fine. They get the job done. But if you slave away trying to make every sentence as gorgeous as the last, you’ll never finish the book—and neither will your readers.

What’s more, if you beat yourself up about the less spectacular sentences, you’ll use up some of the energy you could be putting towards crafting those amazing sentences. The “solid” sentences make the spectacular sentences shine. The spectacular sentences are the ones we remember, but the solid sentences are the ones that tell the story.

The solid sentences are the steps we must take to get to the spectacular ones.

The same goes for building a business. You will put some good stuff into the world and you will put some f-ing awesome stuff into the world. But you’ve gotta put out the good stuff to get to the great stuff. You’ve gotta free yourself from the need to be great every single minute in order to create the path to your greatness.

There’s no such thing as an overnight success. Greatness doesn’t just happen. There’s a whole lotta good that paves the way for greatness. Trust the process.

What do you think? Where in your life are trying to skip over the good to get to the great? Where are you struggling to trust the process? Come on over to Own Your Awesome and share your experiences.

When Your Self-Worth Wobbles

You are worthy.

Those are three powerful words, eh? Let them sink in. Let the power of those words flow through your body. Let them fill you up, shining a light on your entire body, from the tips of your toes, up through your legs, through your core, across your shoulders to your finger tips, and up your neck to the top of your head. Allow your whole body to sparkle with the knowledge that You. Are. Worthy.

Our worth is determined only by us. It comes from within.

And yet, it can feel like worth is a tightrope we dance across each and every day. One single comment from someone else can throw us completely off balance. One non-ideal workout can send us into a spiral of self-doubt. One social snafu can leave us wondering if we’ll ever be worthy enough to show our face in public again.

Why is our self-worth so wobbly?

Take a step back. When does your self-worth feel wobbly?

For me, it wobbles when I’m not grounded. It wobbles when I’m surrounded by other people’s drama. It wobbles when I’m caught up in the swirliness of the ideas in my head. It wobbles when I lean into fear.

On the other hand, when I’m feeling connected (to my body and soul, and to the ground beneath me and the sky above me) my sense of worth is rock solid. When I’m operating from my strengths, I am confidently in flow. When I lean into love, I stand on a platform of solid self-worth. And when I come home to myself, I believe that I am worthy of living a life I love.

When does your self-worth feel unwavering? When do you feel like other people’s negative feedback bounces off you? When do you feel absolutely confident about doing you?

If you’re struggling to answer, it’s time to come home—to yourself. Your soul is waiting for you. It’s waiting for you to shine bright like a diamond. It’s waiting to love you unconditionally.

Come home to yourself, my friend. And know that you are worthy. You are worthy of living a life you love. You are worthy of being loved. You are worthy of being healthy. You are worthy of reaching your highest potential. You are worthy of greatness.

If you’re wobbling on your worth, take my hand. I want to help you find solid ground, I want to help you own your awesome. It’s time for you to step into your very own unique light and let that light sparkle.

Are You Forcing or Flowing?

I lay on my mat in the post-yoga, blissed-out state of savasana. The instructor was saying something in a sing-song voice, and her words washed over me like summer rain. I felt grounded and peaceful. But her next words smacked me like a snowball: “Avoid aggressive people,” she said.

Wait. What?

The bliss dissipated, and suddenly I was lying on a hard floor wondering what had just happened.

My whole life I’ve been told to “Go for the ball,” “Be aggressive,” “Ask for what you want,” and “Get in the game.” I didn’t want to be someone who let life pass her by. I didn’t want to settle. I wanted to create the greatest life I could. I wanted to reach my highest potential. What was wrong with being aggressive in pursuit of greatness?

At the time, I dismissed her words and avoided the next class when I saw she was teaching. But now, almost 10 years after that yoga class, I think I’ve figured out what she was trying to say and it has a lot to do with focus.

The way I see it, there are two ways of achieving focus: through force and through flow.

When we force focus, we are aggressive. We push. We feel tension in our bodies as we hunch our shoulders or clench our jaws. This type of focus makes us feel like we’re working really hard.

We see only one thing, trying to push all other distractions away. We try to force our desires into being. We try to will our way forward.

This type of focus is unsustainable and exhausting. The longer we try to hold it, the more tired, spent and worn out we feel afterwards.

When we allow focus to flow, however, we allow ease. Our bodies feel relaxed. Our hearts are open. Our minds are quiet. We see everything and nothing. We are one with the experience as both the participant and the observer.

Flow is sustainable and energizing. The longer we are in flow, the more energy we have and the better we feel.

When we allow flow, we allow our desires to come to us.

How do we do this? We allow flow by getting rid of the stories, the assumptions and our inner critic’s chatter. We allow flow by being right here, right now.

Living in flow requires faith—faith that the universe has our backs and faith that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be. Flow asks us to trust ourselves, to trust our skills and our knowledge, to trust the process, and to trust the timing. To allow flow, we must admit that we cannot control everything. We must surrender. We must lean into uncertainty with awareness, curiosity and faith.

If you’re thinking, “Yeah, yeah, but how do I get there?” let’s talk.

If you’re exhausted from constantly trying to force your focus, let’s explore ease together.

If you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and going nowhere, I can help you find your flow.

If you’re afraid to let go, I’ll help you learn to surrender, safely.

If you feel like you’re muscling through, I will help you feel expansive.

If you’re performing really well in your life, your sport or your business, but you know you can do even better, I’ll help you get there.

Email me to find out how to apply to work with me.

Let’s find your flow together.

How to Get What You've Been Waiting For

“Wait, Makai.”

He looked at me with his big brown eyes, knowing I couldn’t resist them. And still I said, “keep waiting.”

I sat outside a campground office with my 10-year-old dog Makai while my husband went in to pick up our mail.

Makai sat, then lay down, then jumped up and looked at me.

“Keep waiting,” I kept saying, “good boy.”

Guests came in and out of the office, each one stopping to comment on the beautiful dog. He’s a celebrity. We’re just his entourage.

Makai shifted once more, and once more I reminded him to wait.

And then I laughed out loud as I heard my own words and the irony of it all.

Wait. Keep waiting.

That’s what the universe is saying to me right now.

I’m loving our adventure AND craving a home base—a place to put down some roots (in a pot), a sacred space where I feel grounded and empowered, a launching pad (and a place to keep more bikes).

I’m ready to find that place, but the universe isn’t ready for me to find it just yet.

So it tells me to wait, just as I’m telling Makai to wait.

Do you know what I’m talking about?

You want something. You’re craving something. And yet getting it is out of your control.

Maybe you want a new home or a new job. Maybe you’re waiting for an injury to heal. Or maybe, like millions of Americans, you were waiting for April the giraffe’s baby to arrive.

Waiting. It can feel so hard. We know what we want. We search for it. We push for it. And yet nothing happens.

Here’s the thing: When the time is right, it will feel easy. When the time is right, it will be so obvious.

But when our desire to know the answer outweighs our desire to enjoy where we are right now, we hop on the struggle bus.

And how do we get off the struggle bus? We stop spinning.

We stop trying to attach ourselves to expectations.

We let go and dive into the “right here” and the “right now.”

We listen to our body and we listen to our soul.

We do the work.

We focus on what we can control.

We stop making life so hard and allow it to be ease-filled.

And then, when we let it be easy, when we’re connected with our bodies and souls, when we stay present…that’s when we’ll experience flow. That’s when the universe will show us the next step.

You see, just wanting something isn’t enough. Believing that we can have something isn’t enough. We have to be truly ready to receive it.

Over to you. What do you need to let go of to be really truly ready to receive whatever it is you’re waiting for? Come on over to the Own Your Awesome Facebook group and join the discussion.

Lessons From the Adventure River

The cool water bubbled up over my shoulders as the sun warmed my face. My husband and I were lying in inner tubes, riding the Adventure River at our campground in South Carolina.

This is our life right now. We sold our house in Maine in September and have been living in a small camper and traveling around the country ever since. At our current campground, the bathrooms blast a soundtrack that reminds me of a middle school dance. The guests drive everywhere in golf carts. And something laid an egg under our camper.

Life is an adventure.

And that brings me back to the Adventure River.

We floated. Sometimes we hit a fast current and whipped around a corner and sometimes we found ourselves in the doldrums, going nowhere. But mostly we just floated, slowly and steadily.

Just like life. Sometimes, we’re in the flow and things feel easy; we move smoothly towards our destination. Other times, it feels like we’re going nowhere. And yet most of the time, we are moving forward, slowly and steadily.

Sometimes the current on the Adventure River pinned us against the wall or beached us on the stairs. We’d simply turn ourselves around and push off, heading back into the river at a different angle.

Again, just like life. Sometimes we hit a wall or get stranded and lose our momentum. When that happens, we accept the pause, assessing our situation and choosing a new angle from which to launch.

Sometimes the Adventure River dumped water down on us from above, other times, water bubbled up from jets down below. Still, we kept floating, just colder and wetter—and maybe a little more wary.

Just like life. Sometimes we’re following the path we’ve chosen, and life drops something on us that makes us uncomfortable. And yet we keep going.

On the river, we watched a boy in a blue and yellow life jacket kick hard against the current to reach a tower of three inner tubes stacked on top of one another. He went nowhere despite his effort, but grasped desperately at the air trying to urge the tower closer. And when the tower finally reached him, it toppled onto him.

Again, just like life. We can kick against the current. We can work ourselves into a tizzy. We can attach ourselves to an ideal and fight for it frantically. Or we can let it be easy and go with the flow.

My husband and I laughed as we walked back to our camper. We’d been that boy last week. We’d been spinning our wheels, desperately trying to attach ourselves to something. We’d gone nowhere and felt like a pile of inner tubes had tumbled onto us.

But now we’re on the other side. Not reaching. Not grasping. Just being. Allowing ourselves to be in the present moment and flow wherever life takes us.

Now it’s your turn. Where are you in this adventure? Are you flowing with ease? Are you bouncing off the sides? Have you become stranded and are figuring out how to push off in a new direction? Are you looking like a drowned rat, but still moving forward?

Come on over to my new free Facebook Group: Own Your Awesome and share your journey.

There's a Time and a Place to Suck It Up

I stood on the pool deck, looking up at the dark wooden ceiling. And then I looked at the brick walls on either side. The place had a bit of a dungeon feel and didn’t fit my definition of an inspiring pool. Yet, we were considering moving to this city, and this pool would be the pool I relied on for a few months of the year. “At least it’s not freezing,” I thought.

Wait. What?

What’s this “at least it’s not…” bullshit? That’s not my style. I don’t settle. I thrive. I don’t default. I create.

I live a life of choice. And I choose awesomeness.

In the chaos of our busy lives, we tend to fall into the trap of tolerating. We tolerate the messes. We tolerate behavior that doesn’t make us feel honored. We tolerate relationships that don’t inspire us.

We listen to the Should Monster. We follow the so-called rules that tell us what we’re supposed to be doing in our lives rather than realizing that we get to choose what we’re doing in our lives.

And we rationalize all of it, saying things like, “it’s better than nothing,” “it’s good enough,” “nothing’s perfect” and “at least it’s not…”

We explain away our right to awesomeness, and settle into the meh.

Ugh. Let’s stop doing this, okay?

You, yes YOU, have every right to do what makes you happy. And that means that you also have every right to say no to the stuff that DOESN’T make you happy.

We’re awake. We’re alive. We get to live this life and we get to choose how we want to experience this life every single moment.

Sure, there’s a time and a place to suck it up. But that time comes AFTER making a conscious choice. Maybe I consciously choose to live in the town with the dark pool because I adore everything else about the town. Maybe you consciously choose to work at a job that doesn’t light up your life because the hours give you the flexibility you want to do what really lights you up.

But here’s what you need to know: you don’t HAVE to suck up anything.

We can default and rationalize our way to a life of meh or we can consciously create a life of intention.

What’s it gonna be?

Are Your Goals Killing Your Dreams? My Guide to Not Setting Goals

I am a certified professional coach who helps people reach their highest potential. I am an athlete striving to reach her highest potential. You might think that makes me a total goal digger.

Not so much.

In fact, I’m not a fan of goals.

Let me explain:

I believe we do everything in our lives out of a place of love or fear. When we set a goal, we make it specific and measureable, and we give it a timetable. In doing so, we turn it into a pass/fail situation: If we hit our goal, we pass. If we don’t, we fail.

As we’re working towards that goal, we’re afraid of failing, of not reaching our goal—we’re operating from a place of fear. And, since fear is a very effective motivator, it often succeeds in driving us to achieve our goal.

But I’m not into fear. I prefer to choose love instead. And choosing love leads me to set intentions instead of goals.

So instead of setting a goal to finish a race in a certain time, I set an intention to get faster and faster. I set an intention to be present with each workout. I set an intention to honor the process.

A goal is an end point. But for me, nothing worth achieving has an end. I want to keep learning and growing. I want to challenge myself to keep evolving; to see what’s around the next corner.

Goals put limits on our potential. Intentions allow us to be open to possibilities.

Goals keep us narrowly focused. Intentions allow us to be curious.

Goals keep us externally focused. Intentions allow us to look inward for motivation.

Let’s use running as an example. Imagine setting a goal to a run a marathon in three hours. You do the work. You follow your coach’s instructions perfectly. You’re ready. Race day comes and it’s game time. You’re going to do what you set out to do.

Imagine that you achieve your goal. Yay! Everything worked out exactly as you planned. But what if you don’t get under three hours. What then? It’s over. You failed. You feel like crap.

Now, What if you set an intention to do the work and be curious about where it will take you instead of setting a goal. Same as before, you do the work. You follow your coach’s instructions perfectly. You’re ready. Race day comes and now it’s time to find out what happens when you put it all together. Say you run like a superstar. You run faster than you ever thought possible. You’re proud of yourself and wonder what else you’re capable of. But what if you try your best but your nutrition doesn’t go as planned? Or you just don’t have the legs that day? If you set a goal, it’s simple: you failed. But if you set an intention to simply do the work and see what came of it, you can walk away having learned something–or a lot of somethings. Maybe you’re excited to try it again. Or maybe you learned that you don’t really like that distance and want to see what you can do in a different race.

You keep moving forward—maybe at a different angle, maybe with a different approach. You keep growing. You keep evolving. You stay curious. You choose love.

2 New Ways to Uplevel Your Life With Me

I love coaching. I love everything about it—the relationship, the process, but most of all, I love watching clients shed the stories that have protected them for so long as they step into their own power.

But coaching isn’t for everyone.

Committing to a coaching relationship is a big investment in yourself. And some people may not be ready to do that. I get that.

And that’s why I’ve created these two new services. They’re perfect for people who want to take a step towards their highest potential, but aren’t looking for the commitment and investment of coaching.

Core Desired Feelings Coaching Sessions

I am now offering stand-alone Core Desired Feelings Coaching Sessions. As a licensed Desire Map facilitator, I have been doing these sessions within my coaching relationships for over a year. I recently realized, however, that they could be equally valuable to people outside of a coaching relationship.

In these sessions, we examine how you want to feel in all aspects of your life and we establish “goals with soul.” Instead of focusing on things you want to accomplish, we connect you with your true desires and your true self.

So far, clients have found these sessions to be both enlightening and freeing. The investment for one 60-minute Core Desired Feelings Coaching Session is $250. Email me to book your session.

“My Core Desired Feelings session with Kelsey enabled me to experience and discover parts of myself that I always new were alive inside of me, but never had the ability to articulate. Kelsey’s insightful curiosity allowed me to illuminate a part of myself that has allowed me to be more conscious in how I set intentions for myself. The confidence I feel having obtained this new awareness of who I am left me feeling passionate and inspired to create more in my business as well as in my personal life. Whether you are at the beginning of your journey of self-discovery or consider yourself a veteran seeker of truth, experiencing a Core Desired Feelings discussion with Kelsey will free you to unlock the universe inside of yourself and expand your heart.”

             -Nicholas George

Personalized Visualizations

Sometimes we know exactly what we want, we just don’t know how to get it. Visualizing ourselves achieving the outcome we want can be a powerful way to nudge us towards our goal and help us show up with confidence.

I’ve created personalized visualizations for clients who were aiming to achieve all manner of goals. They range from athletes preparing for training sessions to those preparing for major races. Through visualizations, I’ve helped a speaker prepare for her TEDx talk and an entrepreneur create the businesses of her dreams. Visualizations have helped clients create the supportive and loving partnerships they seek, create a better work-life balance and even helped clients become more mindful.

Visualization is a proven tool that can help you show up as your best self in any situation. The investment for one personalized visualization is $89. Email me to give yourself that extra nudge.

“When Kelsey offered to do a visualisation for me I expected to be sent a mantra or some phrases to repeat, what I received was way better than that. Kelsey really took her time to understand what it was I was after for my visualation, she asked questions that made me think about my response, I did squirm a little at putting my hopes and dreams out there. The squirming was worth it! When I first listened to what Kelsey had sent me I was blown away, she completely nailed it! The visualisation really spoke to me and just by thinking of some of the key things I can take myself to the calm place that I am in when listening to Kelsey's words. I'm looking forward to putting the butterflies and firecrackers to work at my 70.3 race tomorrow! Thanks again Kelsey! You rock!”

            -Nadine Voice

“Kelsey made a recorded Visualization for me in my preparation for Ironman Los Cabos. Before making it she asked many questions about the race, my motivation, my goals...

When I first listened to it I could not help but smile all the way through. It was perfect! She incorporated all the things I told her in some way, and made it so creative and fun!

I carried this visualization in my head leading up to the race and each time it would make me smile. During the race I drew on some parts of it to get me through the hardest points especially

Kelsey’s care and compassion definitely show through her creations. I STRONGLY recommend trying one out for yourself! Whether it’s a big race, or any goal event you have, Kelsey can help you be as mentally prepared and strong as possible.

Yes, you can visualize yourself, but it’s SO much better listening to someone walk you through it with creative spins that you’ve never thought of.

Thanks Kelsey for creating something that is unique to me and for me!”

            -Andree Miceli,

“I got a personalized visualization from Kelsey in preparation for my TEDx talk and it proved to be a valuable tool.  Her easy to follow style was relaxing and the way she customized it for me and the talk was both moving and empowering.  I'm a proponent of doing my own visualization and this was taking it up a level, truly building confidence and energy.   I could tell that Kelsey truly does this from the heart and she absolutely embodies finding her awesome in all that she does!”

            -Elizabeth McCourt

“I so wanted to wait to listen to the visualization the night before my race, but I was feeling super down today after work. I swam at 5:30 this morning, worked and had a run to do after work, and I was really not feeling the run after work. It's cold, wet, rainy... The treadmill was what I was going to have to do. The mind games started--I was supposed to be resting and getting ready for IM etc etc. Anyways, I decided I needed a push and laid on my bed, took a deep breath and pressed play. THANK YOU, KELSEY! You are an awesome, spectacular, encouraging, one of a kind angel!!! After listening to your message, I jumped up and got my workout done. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!! I am strong, I am dedicated. I am badass and I WILL become an Ironman soon. And your words will push me through those 140.6 miles. Thank you, Kelsey!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!”

            -Aimee Reeves

What I Learned From Living in a Camper for Three Months

I've heard the phrase, "Busy is good" my entire life.

And finally, after years of not completely buying it, I am officially calling BULLSHIT!

Being busy is a cultural phenomenon. We rush from one event to the next, always going, going, going.

We fill our calendars, saying yes to everything that comes our way.

We take on work and more work because "busy is good."

But when do we breathe?

When do we connect with nature?

When do we truly feel our feelings?

When do we really live?

Busyness is an addiction, just like alcohol and drugs. We use it just as we use addictive substance to numb ourselves.

When we're busy, we don't have time to feel.

We don't have time to be sad.

We don't have time to ask ourselves what we really want.

We don't have the space to open up.

We just go-go-go because "busy is good."

Let's stop the madness!

Your self worth is not determined by how busy you are.

You are a wonderful human being capable of love and joy and adventure.

You are more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

You have so much untapped potential inside you.

It's waiting for you--your awesome is waiting for you.

Just slow down.

Back off the doing and embrace the being.

Sit with yourself.

Make space for yourself.

Let your brilliance shine.

Watch this week's video for more about The Slowdown Challenge.

How To Reach Your Highest Potential

If you're an athlete or an entrepreneur or a parent or a teacher or a student--or a human,really--you're probably striving to be your best self.

And if you're any of those things, you've probably experienced self doubt.

Maybe you've asked yourself, "Why the hell am I doing this?"

Maybe you've found yourself feeling like a turd after comparing yourself to those around you.

Maybe you wonder if you're good enough.

Maybe you think, "this is stupid" or "I'm tired" or "I can't do this."

Maybe you think, "I just don't have it today" and want to walk away.

This is what we do. We make up stories.

And those stories often keep us from performing our best.

But they're just that--they're stories just like Little Red Riding Hood or the Three Little Pigs. We don't have to believe them.

Watch this week's video for more about how stories can interfere with us being our best selves.

What is Confidence?

I haven't always been confident.

In grade school, I was tall, had an unusual name and hadn't yet grown into my nose. I just wanted to be like everyone else.

I had so little musical talent that I was frequently kicked out of music class for "not trying."

I had learning disabilities and was one of the last kids in my first grade class to read aloud. And when I did, everyone clapped. It was mortifying.

I have a very distinct memory of walking down the hall saying, "I hate myself."

Things have changed.

I now love my name and my height and my nose and my learning disabilities. And I totally own my lack of musical talent.

I love being different.

I love myself.

And I wouldn't exchange those rocky early years for anything.

I've done a lot of work to get to this point. I've cried. I've learned. And I've trained.

It's time to give back--to you. I want to help you love yourself. I want to help you own your uniqueness.

I want to help you be you.

I want to help you feel confident.

But first, let's define confidence. Watch this week's video for my definition.

Your Ego is a Drama Queen

After last night's dinner, we had some extra zucchini noodles and pesto to put in the refrigerator.

My husband asked me if I wanted the noodles and pesto in the same container.

"Yes," I said.

"Wait, no," I changed my mind.

"Umm, actually, yeah," I changed my mind again.

I believe I changed my mind a few more times before I finally settled on a "yes."

Making decisions can be challenging--even when that decision is simply figuring out what to do with leftovers.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Why?

Because we already have all the answers.

Watch this week's video for more on this topic.

My Word for 2016

I'm writing to you from a comfy chair.

I'm outside--in shorts. There's a soft breeze. Geese are calling. Swans are flapping against the water as they do a long take-off.

And my home is behind me. It's a box--a box with a bed and a small bathroom and a small kitchen.

Everything is awesome.

AND I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

Watch this week's video to find out why I think that's so great.

What Is Confidence Coaching?

The other day, I went into a toy store to pick up a baby shower gift. I knew exactly what I was looking for—a cuddle hedgehog I’d seen on the store’s website the previous night.

After a few minutes of browsing on my own (and exercising extreme will power to not sniff any of the scented markers), I asked the saleswoman for help.

I described the product to her.

“Hmmm,” she said. “Was it a polla-doo toy?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what that is,” I said.

She showed me the polla-doo toys. They were nothing like the toy I described.

“Oh,” she said. “Was it a boodle buddy?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what that is either,” I said again.

She gestured towards the boodle buddies. They too were nothing like the toy I described.

I felt like I was in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, where I was having a conversation with a magical woman who spoke a mystical language that I couldn’t understand.

And that got me thinking this may be exactly how you feel when you hear me talk about confidence coaching.

It’s not every day that you meet a confidence coach, and it’s entirely possible that you have no idea what I do.

So let me explain.

I am a certified professional coach and I specialize in helping people find the confidence they need to reach their highest potential in all aspects of their life.

I do this by asking lots of questions, sometimes hard questions, to bring out my clients’ brilliance.

I hold my clients accountable and I call them on their shit.

I hold space for my clients to reflect and to process.

And through all of this, I take my clients from a good life in the present to an awesome life in the future.

I guide them to a new level of self-awareness.

I help them free themselves from negative self-talk.

I help them live in the present and be more mindful.

I help them reach their goals.

I help them break free from rules and “shoulds” and “have tos”.

I help them feel free.

And I help them fly.

My clients are amazing. They are the brave ones. They answer the hard questions and put in the work. I simply guide them, holding their hands on this crazy journey.

If you want to fly and if you’re ready go all-in, I’d love to help you. It might be a little bit scary and it might be hilarious, but I won’t let you fall. We’ll do this together. Let’s change your life.

And if you know where I can find a cuddle hedgehog, please share.

Permission to CTFO

2015 is coming to a close.

Maybe you're ready for a change.

Maybe you're craving ease.

Maybe you've been pushing all year, trying to sell your product, trying to make everything perfect, trying to get faster.

Maybe you're not finding the changes you hoped to find.

Maybe it's time to look inward.

Maybe it's time to listen.

To listen to your heart.

To listen to your soul.

Maybe it's time to be open.

To be open to new knowledge.

To be open to new experiences.

To be open to magic.

To be open to the universe.

Maybe it's time to put yourself first.

Watch this week's video for more on listening to what you want.