We’re all capable of self-sabotage.
In a college race I remember like it was yesterday, I was about an inch in front of the girl next to me as we both started on the final lap. I was winning. And as I realized I was winning, I felt a flash of squirminess, of self-doubt, of unworthiness, of fear.
And so I slowed down just a teeny tiny bit. And touched the wall in second place.
Phew! That was close.
I almost won. I’m not worthy of winning. I’m not good enough to win. I’m not one of the “winners.”
These were the stories I told myself. These were the tales I believed about myself.
I still get a pit in my stomach as I replay this race.
I trained hard. I trained well. I trained with the fast people. But when race day came, I held myself back.
I wasn’t ready to accept my own greatness. I didn’t believe I was worthy of success.
I thought I was just one of those athletes who trained better than she raced. It’s so easy to write off our lack of self-love with rationalizations. We don’t want to rock the boat. We just love helping other people. We don’t like the spotlight.
I call bullshit, gently.
It wasn’t that I just happened to train better than I raced. It’s that I didn’t believe I was worthy of standing atop the podium.
It’s not that we don’t want to rock the boat. It’s that we’re afraid that people will judge us, or that they’ll see that we’re not as great as they thought we were. (We are.) It’s not that we just love helping people. It’s that we love helping other people and we find it so much easier than taking care of ourselves because who are we to put ourselves first? (We are wonderful unique human beings who need love, attention and support too.) It’s not that we don’t like the spotlight. It’s that we don’t believe we’re good enough to have all of that attention on us. We worry that we might screw up. And if we screw up, that would just prove we’re not worthy. (We are worthy.)
It all comes down to love—to believing, to KNOWING that we are enough exactly as we are. We don’t have to do anything or prove anything to become worthy. We already are.
The self-worth work is challenging. It’s open. It’s crazy vulnerable. It’s real. It’s raw. And it’s the only way to get to self-love.
I believe in me now. I believe that I am enough. I know that I am worthy of greatness. I know I am worthy of standing atop the podium. I believe in you too. I know you are enough. I know you are worthy of greatness. And I know you too are worthy of standing atop the podium.
Take my hand. I’ll help you through the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. I’ll help you change your relationship with your inner critic (that voice that tells you that you’re not good enough). I’ll help you see the TRUTH—that you are whole, that you are loved, that you are enough and that you are worthy. Contact me to schedule your free discovery call.